Change always stirs up emotional responses that often cause people to pull back rather than to lean into the discomfort and learn from it. It generally involves letting go as one way of life is replaced any another.
2 months back, when my husband and I decided to change our house and move to another society which is a little on the outskirt of Bangalore. It wasn’t easy…and imagine doing it with all the chaos of COVID-19…with the masks and social distancing…not getting labour..no helps immediately. Managing everything and then setting up everything. Simple things like R.O. installation, lighting, setting up the washing machine, getting the drilling for paintings, Internet without which nothing can work these days…. Did seem a herculean task..
And ofcourse the comfort of being where we were in the old house..it was a beautiful flat on the 8th floor looking onto a lush green DRDO campus and right in the middle of the city centre..Indra Nagar and MG Road were both just about a 20 mins drive …everything was set..we had created a fairly decent ecosystem of people we knew, my daughter had her friends, everything basic was within a 1 km radius, helps had started coming in..so all was pretty good..enough reasons to hold us back..This letting go was rather a difficult transition.
The first thing with change is to give the transition a moment of acknowledgement, reflecting on what to value and build on…
So what we really valued about the movement was that we were going to save immensely on rent when we move out and that would really help us save for eventually buying our own place. Once you know a decision is based on a value that really matters to us and the change is for our better it’s definitely a moment of acknowledgement. And challenges came however learning from how I handled a similar shifting situation in the past (shifted in and out of Bangalore twice and managed pretty well and this was only an intra-city shifting). And now as I sit and write this looking out of my study window where I can see the Nandi Hills I feel so good..and thank god we leaned into the discomfort and made it happen…(Not to forget the money we are saving)
I have experienced with many of my clients, those who are keep to leap forward. When they are working through their change it could be getting a promotion, getting married, starting a family, or beginning a new job… However I would suggest whatever change you are ready for make sure you use the LEAP model to stop and reflect. With the LEAP Model, you question the following aspects:
Letting Go – What is being released in order to move forward? What can be valued and built on? (I was letting go of the attachment to be in my comfort zone, valued the savings that would eventually come from moving out)
Ending – What has to end? How can you acknowledge emotions about this ending? (I acknowledged I would be sad leaving this old place also acknowledged anxiety of moving out amidst the COVID situation)
Adjusting – What adjustments have to be made? Adjustments can include those to sense of self, thoughts, behaviours, or work (in my case it was the way of life)
Positive Beginnings – What is coming on? What does the new way of life look like? (in my case it was having a lovely study area in my new house, staying in a place that was really open and green and the view of Nandi Hills to get up with every morning)
When we allocate time to reflect it helps us understand the transition we are experiencing more clearly. Change can be uncomfortable, but when we plan to take relevant skills and experiences we are able to leap to the next step confidently rather than crawl nervously into the future..
So remember next time you decide to change anything in your life..taking time doesn’t mean you are stupid or inadequate. Finding out how to manage change is the natural process of acquiring new knowledge and you have the power of the LEAP MODEL…. The more you learn and accept the process, the more you are likely to succeed…Your coach in possibilities – Parul
“The secret to change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new”– Socrates